Looking Through The Double Pain Window

As I look through my double pain window,

 Silently and alone,

 I wonder what must I do or what I must have done to be so strange, so different, and so far gone.

I cried so much in my life,

And when I look for at least one tear to release my pain and fears.

I am left with nothing but dryness and sadness,

There is no room for me or you, it’s filled with the darken sin and a whole lot of emptiness.

God do I really know you,

Or am I one of those fools that you will announce after the closing of your gates,

Depart from me, I never knew you,

That trembles my soul, just the thought of hell I hate

Out of all the doors I tried to escape from, I end up back here,

Right where I started from.

I fight daily for hope, faith, and freedom in you,

Once again I find myself left wishing I was past this double pain window that I look through daily

In the room full of emptiness.

Trapped looking at what could be, through my own double pain window.

Am I doom!

Where you meant to be my groom

Am I on the list to be that bride crowned in your glory?

Or am I to far gone,

To be held in your holy’s of holies!

Rescue me, I am crying out every way I know how too.

But until you Rescue me, I am left to look through this double pain window

Like a broken hearted widow.