Looking Through The Double Pain Window

As I look through my double pain window,

 Silently and alone,

 I wonder what must I do or what I must have done to be so strange, so different, and so far gone.

I cried so much in my life,

And when I look for at least one tear to release my pain and fears.

I am left with nothing but dryness and sadness,

There is no room for me or you, it’s filled with the darken sin and a whole lot of emptiness.

God do I really know you,

Or am I one of those fools that you will announce after the closing of your gates,

Depart from me, I never knew you,

That trembles my soul, just the thought of hell I hate

Out of all the doors I tried to escape from, I end up back here,

Right where I started from.

I fight daily for hope, faith, and freedom in you,

Once again I find myself left wishing I was past this double pain window that I look through daily

In the room full of emptiness.

Trapped looking at what could be, through my own double pain window.

Am I doom!

Where you meant to be my groom

Am I on the list to be that bride crowned in your glory?

Or am I to far gone,

To be held in your holy’s of holies!

Rescue me, I am crying out every way I know how too.

But until you Rescue me, I am left to look through this double pain window

Like a broken hearted widow.

MANY STEPS

I wonder how many steps it takes

To look forward to the day, when I step forth into a place

A place where the day doesn’t come and go

A place where the SON shines forever

And summer heat doesn’t fade into winter snow

I wonder how many steps it takes

To look forward to the day, when I step forth into a place

Where you’re crowned with Gold

Where the SON’S glory reins

And the love whispers so divine, sheik and bold

I wonder how many steps it takes

To look forward to the day, when I step forth into a place

A place where we can all rest

A place where the SON never sets

And tears are locked away in a forbidden chest

I wonder how many steps it takes

To look forward to the day, when I step forth into a place

Where I feel like family

And I never have to worry, for I am forever looking

AT HIS FACE

WHY???

Why Good things come

And Good things go

Tell me Why am I

The Last to Know

SOS!!! Has anyone heard my cry?
Behind these tears

Are failure, calamity, and fears

There is only one hope

 Waiting patiently and believing is what helps me cope

My heart says one thing and my flesh says another

The pains inside screams out like a birthing mother

Glory to those who have it all

For when I try, for some reason I fall

Why does good things come and go away

Or is it just me that feels this way

But I know why I’m here and I only have one thing to say

Lord, because of the lack of love and the disobedience of man, until there is change, I am here to stay

Why Good things come

And Good things go

Tell me why am I

The Last to Know

I have dream, it’s not an ordinary one

It’s deeper, if you know what I mean

A day of peace and a heart that’s at ease

No more pain, no more crying

So much joy that’s inescapable, there is no need trying

But until that day comes with a great sound of thunder

I am left here to sit and wonder

Why Good things come

And Good things go

Tell me why am I

The Last to Know

Refuge

To you that held me in captivity,

Chained I was to a past with no future, hungry I stayed as you feed me the lies that creep across the waste land, with no conscience or recognition of its actions. A thirst that never once was quenched, but you left a taste of bitterness that quivered down my spine tingling hatred throughout my body, My eyes sought the darkness that carried a burden, which strained the depths of my soul, The ache of My ears at the sound of your voice corrupting my inner man, crushing him, leaving him lifeless, AS A CORSPE  I was left to hang like a decrepit trophy mounted on your deceitful rooted wall, along with the others you won so maliciously.

In the mist of annihilation, Refuge stood amongst me, the fear that build in your eyes, brought about a rage that was forced upon Refuge leaving his body mingled, the threat that flowed through your veins pierced Refuge hands and feet, jealousy that glared from your eyes speared a hole in Refuge side, that released a wicked gloat that caressed your callused heart, and the sound of Refuge taking his last breath, crowned your darken spirit with a inner triumph.

As Refuge laid there lifeless with his arms spread open, you watched his blood dripped from his body with astonishment, and like a imbecile trapped in its own tangled web, you failed to realize, you where the pawn that foolishly led his team into checkmate, for each drop of blood that was shed, it awakened the souls that you held in captivity.

For I, along with many others felt the chains break from our wrist, after each drop of refuge blood, and our hunger was turned into fulfillment, by the manna that fell from the heavens gates, a cup over following with milk and honey was gifted to us, that forever quench our thirst, The Greatness that is in He, now lives in YOU cried the Holy Spirit as He resurrected our inner man.


Now I stand, like a roaring Lion in the path of my destiny, this territory in which I stand upon belongs to me,  as the leader of my pride, I know my call and who I am distend to be, with the crown of my mane I stand Victoriously on the hills of Zion. For who so ever enters with the attentions to kill, steal, or destroy, will be mauled and devoured! For it is written Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God. "For Vengeance is Mine says the Lord."
                                             Romans 12:19
                                                                         

Twisted Storm

Life can be like a tornado, a warning of terror before the monstrous roaring winds sweeps away what once existed in its path, the debris of the broken hearted mourn through the trail of the dusty memories of their love ones being ripped from the grips that held them close to a heart that is now shattered, with each piece lost and scattered, with no hope of finding nor the strength to regain after the corruption and turmoil you’re left to face during the twirl of its winds.

 It’s hard to imagine in the midst of a storm, there in the Center eye of it all, is where you find PEACE until the calming of each Storm. Jesus! You are the center eye that brings forth peace until the calming of every storm.

Where Am I

     I can feel my world closing up around me, a prisoner trapped in my own spiritual infirmities dungeon awaiting my execution. The air Lessing each breath I take, the anticipation brings forth from its bowels the sign of destruction. Listening to the beat of my heart like a ticking clock, till the coming of the last hour. From dusk to dawn the light fades till it’s not visible, not even by site. Just a memory of its existence that glazed upon me in the heat of the moment, the wonders it possessed when it consumed me by fire, like a moth to a flame I burned with every desire. This couldn’t be Heaven? SO could this be Hell?!